Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
