U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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