I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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