OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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