AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
