No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
