I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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