Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
