So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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