Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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