"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
