if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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