This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
being pregnant is like rehab
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize