On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
