Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Everclear isn't food dammit
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize