dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
