you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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