I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
time to smoke my breakfast
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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