How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
