How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
