I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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