Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
