I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
