i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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