You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
