Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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