I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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