More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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