either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Shame is for Republicans.
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