How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
