just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
