Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
