im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
