Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
