new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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