Do you still have your period?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
