Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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