Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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