I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
