Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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