Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
