matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize