Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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