I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
