I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
