i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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