Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize