East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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