I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
