wakey wakey hands off snakey
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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