is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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