Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
