he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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