You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
