Its about making memories worth repressing
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
