It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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