I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize