I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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