i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
