i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
