gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize