So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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