I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
