This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
