so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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