So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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