Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
