Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
