last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
