so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
