your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So drunk its hurt
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
