all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
